the phoenix shall rise again 3/28/06
you really hanged by a moment.
the moment when you wanted me and made me your own.
after four regretful turns of the tide and a progeny of two years, you have gotten over that fateful moment.
the nightmare is over. LET LIFE AND NOT THE LIE BEGIN.
do you actually think i’d be crushed? defeated? broken? i was.
i just pieced myself again.. bit by bit.
just like how you deconstructed me through all those years.
i still gnash my teeth like some tormented soul in hell
when i think about what happened.
i can’t blame you.
you haven’t even revealed your true self to begin with.
i have thought that everything that transpired
was strung from a web of deliberate deceit.
i can’t give you all the credit.
you’re not that vicious,
just wickedly selfish and utterly devoid of love.
lies can be a harmonious opus from your lips.
it seems to make sense at the time of my madness for you.
but now that everything unravels and unfolds,
it just goes to show that all a quasi man can conjure
are empty words and visions as empty as himself.
i’m done being mad at myself.
i’m done regretting about the might have beens.
i’m done with you.
i’m done forgetting and losing myself.
i still have faith in this thing called love.
i’m just not sure if i can handle it.
tell me, why do i feel empty too?
why does it hurt? be numb you say?
it’s probably good for me since
i’m your nightmare drama queen.
why the hell am i still waiting for closure?
the only time that i can have peace
is if you’re already dead or i am.
is this self torment really necessary?
i may begin to enjoy it. this pain will make me callous.
it will bear layers of fear and paranoia in my soul.
it would make me feel much afraid and disdainful of the most natural emotion known to man. but since i am a man, i can’t escape this for i fear being alone.
it’s the loneliness that drives me to the brink…
when all pride is lost, all faith begotten and all hell breaks loose.
